


Of Pinched Rings and Pen Names

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [40]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra interrogates Cullen and Evelyn about their betrothal and makes a revelation of her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Pinched Rings and Pen Names

Cassandra was returning to the campfire when she heard Cullen say, “decided to get married.” She figured he was talking about one of his soldiers or a family member, but ever the romantic she wanted to know the details. “Who is getting married, Cullen?”

Cullen startled at the Seeker’s voice and looked over his shoulder to speak with her. “I am it would seem,” he answered with the goofiest smile Cassandra had ever witnessed. Cassandra furrowed her brow, “Very funny, Commander. You don’t have to tell me.” She looked over at Evelyn and noticed the Inquisitor was wearing the same love struck grin.

“You’re ... serious?” Cassandra asked while moving in front of them. She stood warily observing the couple trying to see if they were teasing her. “I don’t believe you.” she said with a wave of her hand. “This is just another one of her jokes,” Cassandra accused while pointing at Evelyn. 

“I thought the same thing.” Bull admitted, “But either they’re telling the truth, or they’ve become much better liars overnight.”

Cassandra folded her arms and made a disgusted noise, “So you are in on the joke also, Bull? Really, this is childish.”

“Uh, Seeker, I don’t think they’re kidding.” Varric said while pointing at Evelyn whose forehead was pressed against Cullen’s while he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Trying to piece things together, Cassandra looked at Dorian who was uncharacteristically quiet. His eyes were shimmering. “Are you crying, Dorian?” Cassandra interrogated.

“Absolutely not. I just got smoke in my eyes.” he answered in a huff and turned away.

Still unconvinced, Cassandra watched Cullen and Evelyn suspiciously, “And when am I to believe this decision was reached, Inquisitor?”

The Inquisitor looked directly at Cassandra and answered, “Very recently. It was a spur of the moment thing.” Evelyn began to giggle. Cullen returned her lilting laugh with a throaty chuckle.

“I can see that you find yourselves quite amusing. You expect me to accept that the two of you - the most methodical, cautious people I know - just woke up one morning and got engaged? If this is true, then why isn’t she wearing a sign of your betrothal, Cullen?” 

“I haven’t had the opportunity to give it to her.” Cullen answered.

Evelyn was confused. “Wait, you have a ring?” she asked Cullen.

Cullen looked at Evelyn sheepishly. “It was my grandmother’s. I had to write my mother to send the ring. That’s why my family is particularly keen to meet you and also why I hadn’t told you about their invitation. I was trying to find the right moment to ask.”

Evelyn covered her mouth with her hands and squeaked. Cassandra remained doubtful. “I see. And where is this ring, Commander?”

Before Cullen could respond a loud belch broke through the air as Sera joined the campfire circle scratching her rear. “Don’t know about you, but that stew we ate last night is sitting funny.” The elf let out another reverberating burp and stretched her arms in the air. “That’s better. Finally grew a pair and asked her, Cully Wully? It’s about time.”

“You knew?” Evelyn was gobsmacked. Sera and Cullen weren’t particularly close. She might have expected Dorian to have been clued in, but he seemed to truly be in shock at the morning’s events. _Why did Cullen tell Sera?_

“Known for ages. Kept my mouth shut, too. Found the ring in his Paul runs or whatevers when I ran them up the flagpole.” Sera cackled, “Kept it safe until he came all red-faced coat in hand yelling about messing things up. Best prank ever.” Sera laughed and then snorted. So... lemme see it on you.” Sera motioned for Evelyn to hold out her hand.

“I don’t have it. I actually asked him.” Evelyn confessed.

“Her gracious Lady Bits taking matters in hand.” Sera commented while making an obscene gesture. “Commanding the Commander. Knew he liked a woman on top. So you didn’t lose it again - did ya, Cully Wully?”

“I never _lost_ it in the first place. You stole it, Sera.” Cullen answered with a hint of annoyance.

“Not stole. Kept safe. So where is it?” Sera pressed.

“Nowhere you’ll find it.” Cullen replied.

“Aw, so its in your pants pocket. Not putting my hands there for sure.”

Cullen grunted but didn’t contest her assertion.

“So... take it out and give it to her already.” Sera said then began guffawing at her own double entendre. “Wait, I’m talking about the ring not your man parts. Figure she gets those enough already from the noises coming from your tent at night.”

Cullen and Evelyn simultaneously turned purple while Bull threw his head back with a whoop and slapped his knee. Dorian joined in the laughter and added, “True enough. You _are_ hardly subtle, Inquisitor. Solas won’t pitch his tent near yours because you disrupt his beauty rest. Maker knows he needs as much as he can get.”

“You’re just making things up now.” Evelyn retorted at which point Cullen’s shoulders began to shake and his eyes water as he struggled not to laugh out loud.

“What’s with you?” Evelyn rounded on Cullen who had taken to biting his lip to suppress his urge to snicker.

“Nothing I’m fine.” he replied while wiping his eyes and smirking. “Do you really not realize...” he started to ask but stopped. “Never mind,” he said while holding up his hands.

“Realize what?” Evelyn asked with annoyance.

Cassandra rolled her eyes and explained, “Inquisitor, you can be rather _enthusiastic_.”

“That’s a delicate way to put it, Seeker. I’m omitting descriptors in my book because I’m afraid my tale of the Inquisition would end up on the Randy Dowager’s list rather than be taken seriously.”

Cassandra smiled and ad libbed, “Five scarves fluttering on a tent pole. The Herald of Andraste cries to the heavens in Tethras’ latest historical fiction.”

“That’s a pretty good dowager impression, Seeker.” Varric complimented.

“Impression? The Randy Dowager is just a nom de plume. It could be anyone with a fascination with smutty literature.” Cassandra hinted.

“You’re the Randy Dowager?” Iron Bull asked with wide eyes. 

“I make no such claim.” Cassandra said flatly and then added with a devious smirk. “However, chantry work earns little coin. Someone might choose to supplement their income to keep their library well stocked.”

**Author's Note:**

> Had to share my head canon that Cassandra is the Randy Dowager. I think her in game descriptions of having difficulty writing are more about her own insecurities than her quality of work. She is a very critical person.


End file.
